Ten Reasons Why Microsoft Hasn't Changed Its Warranty The FTC is looking at software warranties, wondering why consumers are refused a right to have software that actually works. Now, we know Microsoft is a monopoly with integrity, and they really do want to change their warranty so their demanding customers only get products chock-full of love and quality. So something must be terribly wrong for our Redmond Beast to not have rectified the situation by now. In fact, we can think of 10 things that might be wrong... Ten Reasons Why Microsoft Hasn't Changed its Warranty Their official warranty template is in Word 4 format, and they can't import it into Word 2000 for revising. Windows just won't stay up long enough for them to recompile all their fixed source code. Jim Allchin is waiting on the zoning permit change before he can pull his head out of his ass. They were about to release their new warranty, but those dirty Russian scoundrels just deleted it from their company network. They're waiting for Bill Gates to stop weeping long enough to sign the release forms. Microsoft executives are too busy dumping their stock. Just as soon as the Bob interface is popular again -- real soon now! They're first waiting on their petition to buy the FTC. They're waiting to see if Bush wins the election. Then, they can add the words "under penalty of death, even if you're innocent" to the license agreement. It will be a part of the next version of their operating system, Windows Byte Me.

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