The Microsoft Holiday Songbook Oh Drop Ye Boring Keynote Speech by the All-Conferences Snore-chestra Oh drop ye boring keynote speech, thing new you will not say. Based only on the obvious, in court you'll forget anyway. We're tired of the same old speech in which you predict the past - And endlessly kiss stockholder ass, stockholder ass, and endlessly kiss stockholder ass. Silent Light by the Dogfood Choir Silent light, hard disk light! All is gone, all is wiped! Had no choice, in the install. It wanted Explorer 5 in thrall. Productivity's shot for the wee-eek! Have to reload Windows reek. We Wish You a Merry Crashmess by Bill Gates and the Redmond Wimpathy Bore-chestra We wish you a Merry Crashmess! We wish you a Merry Crashmess! We wish you a Merry Crashmess! and a Happy Boot Year. We'll giddily make you pay for our sins. We wish you a Merry Crashmess and endless patch-ins. We'll always ignore what viruses wreak. We wish you a Merry Crashmess and security leaks. We'll never heed the customer's voice. We wish you a Merry Crashmess - you have no choice. We wish you a Merry Crashmess! We wish you a Merry Crashmess! We wish you a Merry Crashmess! and a Happy Boot Year. Joy to the Web by the Mournin' Windowscrackle Choir Joy to the Web, Linux is come Let geeks receive its shell Let every Web master serve their pages faster And open software swell And open software swell And open, and open software swell Windows by the Microsoft Executive Choir I am a little weasel, With feet made out of clay But for some blood-money There's nothing I won't say For, Windows! Windows! Windows! Anything I'd say Like it's secure and bug-free (But, please do upgrade!) I'd lie about its features, I'd lie about its demand Just open up your wallet To my greedy hand For, Windows! Windows! Windows! Anything I'd say Like it's innovative (But, please do upgrade!)

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