Microsoft Corp. has announced they will be buying bloodhounds for
the purpose of training them to sniff out code containing defects and
security leaks.
Company spokesman Hugh Sless-Flak said that due to the enormous cache of
programs purchased from other companies, it would take their engineers
over 4,000 geek-years to track down every bug in the software giant's
catalog.
"These dogs, with their excellent sense of smell, will quickly be
able to locate stinking subroutines, poisonous plug-ins, and corrupt
calculations," said Sless-Flak. "We may even use them to unearth
buried mortification in keynote speeches."
While their application programmers will not understand how to
fix the problems, Sless-Flak said it will at least let them be able
to prefix the operation with a dialog box that prompts, "What happens
next may be dangerous to Windows. Are you sure? Yes, No."
Microsoft's previous attempt at using animals occurred during the
development of Windows CE, when parakeets were going to be kept on
hand to detect toxic build-ups of marketing flatulence. Unfortunately,
the birds died from shock when merely exposed to the board of
directors.
