The loss of two computer hard drives from the Los Alamos National
Laboratories in New Mexico is responsible for the release of a dangerous
Microsoft Outlook virus. Using nuclear secrets contained in the files on
the drives, hackers have created a potentially deadly email message with
the innocent-looking subject line, "I Love U238".
Laboratory spokeman Ray D'Ayshon said during a news conference that they
are taking all actions possible to help limit the life and half-life of this
sizzling spam.
"We urge all Windows users to avoid the 'blue screen of death', because
that glow will actually kill you," D'Ayshon warned.
In the meantime, Microsoft is working on a patch to combat this latest
threat. Company spokesman Hugh Sless-Flak said they have come up with
a new animated Outlook assistant -- a thin, green character named Rod
-- that the customer may access for help when their skin starts peeling.
"We have also modified the Recycle Bin into an innovative Lead-Lined Steel
Drum," said Sless-Flak, "where users may drag and drop any uncool
attachments."