Bill Gates, Chairman and Chief Software Architect of Microsoft, and
owner of Corbis.com, has announced the creation of the third company
in his planned trinity: Corpus.
While Microsoft is known to have been formed to steal productivity,
and Corbis' role is to steal the world's treasures, Corpus will have
the task of stealing bodies -- or, more accurately, internal organs.
"I intend to meet customer demand by demanding customer meat," quipped
Gates in a keynote address at WorldCon, a gathering of rich and talentless
executives. "I have their minds. I have their resources. Now, I want
their kidneys and bladders."
Gates said Corpus will harvest transplantable organs at the moment of
death, gaining exclusive rights through the use of "sheet wrap".
"As soon as the physician pulls the bed sheet over the head of the
departed, it indicates an acceptance on the dead person's part that he
or she accepts all terms printed on that sheet," explained Gates.
"If they do not wish to accept those terms, they merely just not die."
Gates said Corpus sheets will be delivered to every hospital and clinic
in the country, for free. This plan has already caused a stir with a
competing softwear manufacturer, who claims the monopolistic action will
force them out of business.
"And, Gates will be distributing bed-bug-riddled products, so we'll be
getting a bum wrap," claimed Bedscape founder Marc Undressen.
