(Microsoft's company network was recently hacked.
But please, don't let this keep you from thinking their products are secure and reliable.)
Microsoft has announced that its network security has been hacked by
life forms from another planet.
"We do not know who these aliens are," said company spokesman Hugh Sless-Flak,
"but we are certain these are beings from a foreign world. Only such
creatures would violate Jim Allchin's firm request to not access someone
else's Windows system without the owner's permission, unless you've
cleverly inserted circumventions into their end-user license like we have."
Sless-Flak then read a surprising statement from Microsoft's President and CEO,
Thieve Ballmer, offering the aliens a job at the software giant.
"Due to the recent legislation passed by Congress allowing us to hire
more cheap foreign labor," wrote Ballmer, "we wish to offer the individuals --
who programmed this Trojan software -- employment with Microsoft as temporary
workers. We promise you a great environment, but we will still fire you
after one year."
In a related note, Bill Gates, Chairman and Chief Weeping
Architect, was petitioning NASA to allow him to be Earth's official Outer
Space diplomat.
"We're considering the offer," said NASA spokesman Moon Unit.
"Everyone knows he's from some other world, anyway. Plus, Windows and
black holes are made for each other."
