From MS-DOS to MS-DOJ

Microsoft has reported that future versions of Windows may no longer have MS-DOS -- the text-based, command-line interface on which Windows itself runs. However, the software giant is working on a version of MS-DOJ, a court-based, alibi-line reference its executives can use when they are called to testify. Microfits has obtained a beta copy of this program, and some of its output is shown below.

MS-DOJ Version 1.0 Copyright (c) 2000, Microsoft Corp. See backslash angle: Dir 4,973 lawyers in 577 court cases. 841 lies generated in 22 seconds. You have $101,548,984 available for bribes. See backslash angle: Del Michael Dell is currently located at geoposition 33,68,0 at a height of 14 feet. See backslash angle: backslash Currently available positions: - threaten increased Windows cost - threaten angst caused by unmet customer demand - threaten disruption of economy* *currently in use by another court testifier See backslash angle: erase Generating random de-recollection... "I cannot remember any email memos dated from March 1998 through September 1999." See backslash angle: CD Your slush-funded Certificate of Deposits are currently worth: $392,048. See backslash angle: exit Golden Parachute balance of $527,785.75 will be electronically credited to your bank account. Thank you for working for Microsoft. Your random Bill Gates cookie: "You were cool. We will miss you."

This site is hosted by The Microsoft Boycott Campaign. These pages have been archived here to preserve anti-Microsoft content and will not be updated. Originally created by "SJS Web Hack." ©2001 The Microsoft Boycott Campaign, under the Open Content License. User Agreement, Copyright, & Privacy Policy.