Viruses Cited as Valid Product Competition

With the list of Windows-related viruses growing, the Redmond giant has adequate competition to their products, or so claims the final rebuttal witness for Microsoft's defense in the Department of Justice antitrust trial.

MIT economist Phil Bakk-Poquet, still busy counting money from Bill Gates' recent multi-million-dollar donation to his institution, testified that viruses incorporate new customer-desired features and functions outside of Microsoft control.

"People will soon be able to download a new operating system or Web browser through these viruses," said Bakk-Poquet, "so Microsoft should be allowed to protect itself from this imminent onslaught and subsequent loss of income."

Bakk-Poquet said macro viruses -- like the recent Melissa -- provided new functionality to Word by enabling it to accurately email documents to multiple recipients.

"So who's to say the next [virus] won't be an entirely new word processor?" he claimed.

While adding more greenbacks to the pile he was counting, defense lawyers asked if this meant Microsoft is no longer in a monopoly position.

"Five-thousand seventy-three, five-thousand seventy-four, -- oh," Bakk-Poquet paused, "heavens yes! Look at what's available now: Linux, Java, even the new Backstreet Boys CD. Any of these at any second will become a viably competitive operating system or browser or word processor.

"Five-thousand seventy-five, five-thousand seventy-six ..."

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