Ten Tips for Microsoft on How Not to Aggravate the Federal Judge

1. Don't wear "DOJ Sucks" t-shirts in court.
   
2. Don't remove "department" and "justice" from all of your spell checkers.
   
3. Don't rename your product to Won 99.
   
4. Don't make a settlement suggestion and end it with, "Not!"
   
5. Don't even think of bribing him with Seattle Seahawks tickets.
   

6. Do remove the Webcam from the judge's bathroom.
   
7. Do avoid telling him to "stop making a federal case out of this."
   
8. Do skip asking him if he was the same judge that tried Bill for speeding.
   
9. Do drop your plans to add to your Barney toy the song, "Take this Writ and Shove It."
   
10. Do stop cutting words out of the judge's dictionary.
    

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