Bill at the Redmond Police Station

Bill:  Officer! I've just been mugged in the park!

Officer:  I'm very sorry, sir. Have you tried walking through the park again to see if the problem reoccurs?

Bill:  No, I have not! There's a crazy man that needs to be found and arrested so no one else is harmed!

Officer:  I don't understand, sir. Why would we want to do that? We've had no significant citizen complaints about this issue.

Bill:  But it's significant to me!

Officer:  According to our records, we've had muggings across from the park, near the park, and outside the park, but we've not had one in the park itself. So let us assure you, sir, the park is secure.

Bill:  Then what's this lump on my head!

Officer:  We suggest you go to sleep and wake up again to see if the lump still appears.

Bill:  Of course it will not appear! It will have gone down after eight hours!

Officer:  Then I don't understand what the problem is, sir. Our citizen focus groups have shown that they enjoy waking up to a functioning condition on a daily basis.

Bill:  But did that include testing to see if they like going to bed with bruises in the first place?!

Officer:  You'll have to contact the mugging industry if you have a complaint with their interaction, sir; we only deal with the general environment and have no jurisdiction with what happens in it.

Bill:  But I thought it was your job to prevent violence in the general environment!

Officer:  Yes, and we're very committed to your concerns, sir, as we hope you notice by the fact that no harm has come to the park itself.

Bill:  The park itself?!?

Officer:  Why, of course. What did you think we protected?

The officer points to a sign on the wall behind him:

"The Park(tm) is provided as is, with no support, guarantees or warranties. The Remond Police Department offers no warranty of its fitness for any purpose whatsoever, and accepts no liability whatsoever for any loss or damage incurred by its use. By using the Park(tm), you agree to the terms of this license, and you also agree to tell others that you use and enjoy the Park(tm), and you will refrain from using any other park. Failure to follow this agreement will lead to loss of Park(tm) privileges."