A Day in the Life of Bill Gates' Office

8:00 am
A new computer is unpacked and set up.
Since we force the manufacturer to bundle all Microsoft applications, there's nothing additional we have to load.

9:00 am
Bill arrives, immediately heads to a meeting with employees for an hour's screaming.

10:00 am
Bill uses Paint to write some company reports.

10:45 am
Bill heads for break room with pinball machines.
His computer is disgarded and we unpack a new one.

11:00 am
Bill returns and sends everyone another email about how stable our products are, how his machine hasn't crashed since 1980, and how he doesn't know what everyone else is complaining about.

12:00 pm
Bill downloads someone else's technology report off the Internet and uses it for a keynote speech at a local conference on software piracy.
In the meantime, Bill's computer is disgarded and we unpack a new one.

2:00 pm
Bill picks a random page from the Wall Street Journal, attaches it to a dart board, throws 6 darts at the page, and instructs his assistant to buy the hit companies.
One of the hit companies turns out to be Sony. The assistant tells Bill they probably can't be bought. Bill says, "then destroy them."

3:00 pm
Bill wanders around, reminiscing to cornered employees about when he wrote BASIC for the Tandy Model 100.
In the meantime, Bill's computer is disgarded and we unpack a new one.

3:45 pm
Bill finds a report posted on the Internet about how no one will ever need the Internet. Bill giggles and calls others over to read it. No one points out that it was Bill who originally wrote it.

4:00 pm
Bill has trouble getting an appointment into the calender on his Windows CE palm computer. He calls in the heads of all software development sections. He has this worried look in his eyes, like maybe there's a certain lack of quality in the company's products after all.
One of the heads takes Bill's computer and, while another head provides distraction, quickly swaps it for a PalmPilot with a Windows CE sticker on it. It's handed back to Bill. Bill sighs when he can easily perform his task, tells everyone to keep up the great work, and continues with his business.

4:05 pm
Silently, all company-used Windows CE computers are replaced with stickered PalmPilots.

4:30 pm
Bill goes to a meeting with lawyers to find out how the trademarking of the word Innovation is going.
Bill's computer is disgarded and we unpack a new one.

6:00 pm
Bill leaves the office, stopping at his secretary's desk, and says aloud as he does every day, "Now where do I want to go today?" He giggles and heads out the door.
Bill's computer is disgarded and we unpack a new one.

Next morning, 8:00 am
Even though no one has used the computer we have set up last night, it has still crashed.
A new computer is unpacked and set up.

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