Microsoft Disputes Windows' NSA "Back Door", Insists It Has "Bug Door"

Microsoft denies the existence of an encryption key that gives the National Security Agency access to Windows computers.

"Our products do not contains intentional 'back doors'," said company spokesman Hugh Sless-Flak. "Instead, they contain 'bug doors', which are defects that allow anyone through. We refuse to be labeled as someone who caters to any branch of the federal government."

The software giant, currently awaiting its fate in the Department of Justice antitrust trial, said it is false that the NSA can load cryptographic services on your machine, without your authorization, and examine every part of your system.

"That's just stupid," Sless-Flak said. "Since viruses like Melissa can upload all of your Windows files to everyone on the Internet anyway, why would we bother adding code to specifically grant access to just the NSA? It's unnecessary."

And Sless-Flak claims that the supposed "NSA key" is a mistaken abbreviation.

"It just stands for 'No Security Activated'," he said. "It lets snoop-type programs know they can get in without rigorously battering the system. This keeps NT-based web sites from crashing from the onslaught."

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