Gates' Morals Fly on Autopilot, Crash into Mire of Greed

The morals of Bill Gates were found dead today, having snuck off on a doomed chartered flight while its guardian was giving a keynote speech.

Gates, Chairman and CEO of Microsoft Corp, was unaware of the departure of his morals, having given up active participation in their growth since his college drop-out days, when he discovered he could make millions by swiping and selling ideas developed by others.

FAA officials have begun investigating the crash, but believe the plane went down after the morals, trying to rise higher and higher above the mire of greed that surrounds the billionaire, had a mechanical failure and lost all oxygen. The plane, continuing on its own, traveled until it ran out of gas, and crashed near the outskirts of the expansive bog.

When told of the event, Gates said morals were found to be unnecessary anyway, as determined by a recently completed stockholder useabilty study at a palatial resort with luxurious feasts and pocket-lining.

Gates then continued with his keynote speech, "Using Partnerships to Uncover Cool Secrets!"

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