Federal Court Rules Microsoft's Java Doesn't Infringe Sun's Rights

A federal court has ruled that Microsoft's version of Java does not infringe on Sun's rights to ownership of Java because the Redmond giant's version is "obviously a second-rate piece of crap."

"We do not see how any reasonable person will confuse Microsoft's dross with any official release coming from Sun," the court announced in a written statement. "In fact, Sun should be grateful to Microsoft for showing the world why everyone ought to be avoiding Windows products in the first place."

Microsoft was jubilant over the decision, and quickly downplayed the strong anti-Windows sentiment.

"We know the court, just like the rest of the world, loves Windows, but they had to appease Sun in their statement so they wouldn't cry," said Microsoft spokesman Hugh Sless-Flak. "You know how sissies like to cry when they don't win."

Microsoft plans to resurrect Visual J++, the Java product they quickly abandoned when it looked like they would be forced to follow another company's contract.

"We know all of our developers will be happy to receive an offer from us to buy J++ again," Sless-Flak said.

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