Bill Gates Awarded H.U.B. Lifetime Achievement

*** FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ***
FROM: THE H.U.B. ACADEMY OF DARTS AND SLYENCES
RE: BILL GATES AWARDED H.U.B. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

Microsoft Chairman and CEO Bill Gates has been unanimously nominated to receive the H.U.B. Lifetime Achievement Award (also known as the "Hubby"). This award represents an untiring and undying wish for one's head to remain firmly up one's nether regions.

Though constantly being bombarded with the truth, Mr. Gates is able to perpertually live in a protected world of his own, which includes its own rewritten history and its own imagined utopia for the future yet to come.

Now, this accomplishment by itself would be considerable for anyone. However, Mr. Gates goes above and beyond with his uncanny ability to exhibit H.U.B. on-the-fly.

For instance, when questioned about, say, the growing acceptance of the Linux operating system, Mr. Gates is always quick to extract tidbits from his ample H.U.B. library on how Windows NT is better and how everone loves it and rallies around it. We can do nothing but applaud him in admiration!

So, keep your Head Up (where it is), Mr. Gates! Your feat outstrips that of the legendary snake who eternally swallowed himself.

CONTACT:
APRIL FU-WELLS,
H.U.B. ACADEMY

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