Bill Gates to Write, Star in Opera, Evada ®

Gates during a rehearsal, crooning to his captor, "Don't cry for me, Sergeant Tina."

Bill Gates, following in the path of artists such as Billy Joel and Paul McCartney, has decided to drop back from day-to-day control of Microsoft and write classical music. His first project: An opera entitled Evada ®, about an innocent nerd reaching for fame and fortune while dodging jealous naysayers who despise his honest ethics and skills. Arrested and jailed, he dies in his cell from ennui.

"I've always been a lyricist, and I can certainly vocalize," Gates grinned, referring to his ability to con other companies into partnerships, and his well-known screaming tirades.

"I wish to apply it to another field and stretch my fingertips," he said. "Although, I've had many sleepless nights worrying about what the audience demands."

Seattle opera critic, Fay Tillady-Sings, claims Gates' "opera" is just a rip-off of Andrew Lloyd Webber's broadway musical Evita. But Gates' agent, Noah Talent, counters that his client legally reverse-engineered the play, and so is within his rights to embrace and extend it.

"He'll be using projection screens, two-story mice that can be clicked and slid around on his jeans, and the audience will be able to email his pager during the performance with wireless CE palmtops," Talent said. "In comparison, Webber's offering was rambling, emotionless jargon."

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