A Microsoft-to-People Translation Guide

Cool: Buggy. Example: "Outlook 98 is cool."

Patch: Hackers also found it cool. Example: "We recommend you download these Outlook 98 security patches."

Bugs: Direct admission of bugs is the method of retiring a product. Example: "You should upgrade to Windows 98, because Windows 95 has over 3,000 bugs in it."

Significant customer problems: Do we need to fix it to work on Bill's PC? Example: "We haven't noticed any significant customer problems with the Windows 98 upgrade installation."

Innovative: Swiped. Example: "The Windows look-and-feel is innovative."

Core: Bought. Example: "Our web browser is core technology."

Partner: A way of gaining access to another company's sensitive technology before deciding a new project is to be innovative or core.

Standard: Proprietary. Example: "We will make Java a standard Windows programming language."

Installed: Came with the PC. Example: "Millions of people have installed Office 98."

Register: Initiate junk mail. Example: "When you buy our products, we ask you to register your purchase so we can alert you to updated information."