A Few Extra Lines for Microsoft Commercials

Microsoft's TV commercials show them as providing useful tools for small business owners. Unfortunately, there's a few things they neglect to mention. I've written some additional lines for the narrator, maybe he could find a way to fit them in next time.

"With Microsoft's innovative products, your productivity will increase. That is, if you consider the extra time required to get the software to work as 'productivity'."

"With our Internet-aware products, your client's confidential records can be distributed all over the Web. Whether you intended for it to happen or not."

"You no longer have to spend long hours at work. You can conveniently download those large bug-patches from home."

"You can cut your phone support if you model it after ours. Just blame the customer for doing it wrong and tell them to go elsewhere for help."

"You can honestly tell your irate customers 'it's the computer's fault'."

( Vote for your favorite item )

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