An Open Letter from Bill Gates

To: Everyone who isn't me
Re: Misunderstanding of phrases

In my important speech # 11,435 I used a phrase I innovated, "Information at Your Fingertips(tm)." It seems, that like the other phrase I innovated, "Where do You Want to Go Today?(tm)," you have all misunderstood the meaning: these phrases were meant to be used literally!

That is, for you slow users out there, by YOU and YOUR, I mean ME, Bill Gates, personally. So, you are supposed to be saying, "Information at Bill Gates' Fingertips(tm)" and "Where Does Bill Gates Want to Go Today?(tm)." Are you stupid?

Why do you think I have my software send me information about your computer and its files? To help you? Give me a break. I want access to your information, and I want it now.

So, please. The next time I say something, do I really have to spell it out? Word, Money, Access: that's what I want from YOU!

Regards,
Bill Gates